Funny Forward Archive
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So far, we’ve got one dedicated author named Joe. We call him “Forwarder Joe” because he gets TONS of forwards in his inbox and he only passes on the best forwards. His filtering skills are beyond exceptional, making sure you don’t waste your time with lame emails. Forwarder Joe is the first Freeple, are you the second?
“I NO COME WORK TODAY!!!”
Hung Chow calls into work and says, “Hey, I no come work today, I really sick. Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work.”
The boss says, “You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this, I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex.That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that.”
Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. “I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon……… You got nice house.”
TOP TEN INDICATORS THAT YOUR EMPLOYER HAS CHANGED TO A CHEAPER HEALTH CARE PLAN:
(10) Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters.
(9) Directions to your doctor’s office include “Take a left when you enter the trailer park.”
(8) The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.
(7) The only proctologist in the plan is “Gus” from Roto-Rooter.
(6) The only item listed under Preventative Care Coverage is “an apple a day.”
(5) Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.
(4) “The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges,” is not a typographical error.
(3) The only expense covered 100% is “embalming.”
(2) Your Prozac comes in different colors with little M’s on them.
AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU’VE JOINED A VERY CHEAP HEALTH CARE PLAN:
(1) You ask for Viagra, and they give you a Popsicle stick and duct tape.
Memory was something you lost with age
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano
A web was a spider’s home
A virus was the flu
A CD was a bank account
A hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And if you had a 3 inch floppy…
…you just hoped nobody ever found out!
Who said dogs aren’t smart? Watch this video that arrived in my inbox the other day:
Smart Dog Gets a Sandwich and a Pepsi
Ha!
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