This elephant kicks better than some World Cup Soccer teams…
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This elephant kicks better than some World Cup Soccer teams…
Who wasted their money on this?
Here are some team tactics for the World Cup…
(update: link fixed)
A Kentucky couple, both bona fide rednecks, had 9 children. They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband “fixed.” The doctor gladly started the required procedure and asked them what finally made them make the decision — why after nine children, would they choose to do this.
The husband replied that they had heard on TV that one out of every ten children being born in the United States was Mexican, and they didn’t want to take a chance on having a Mexican baby because neither of them could speak Spanish.
Sisters Mary Catherine, Maria Theresa, Katherine Marie, Rose Frances, &Mary Kathleen left the Convent on a trip to St. Patrick’s Cathedral in New York City and were sight-seeing on a Tuesday in July.
It was hot and humid in town and their traditional garb was making them so uncomfortable. They decided to stop in at Patty McGuire’s Pub for a cold soft drink.
Patty had recently added some special legs to his barstools which were the talk of the fashionable eastside neighborhood. All 5 Nuns sat up at the bar and were enjoying their Cokes when Monsignor Riley entered the bar through the front door with Father McGinty for a cold drink when they were shocked and almost fainted at what they saw.
LOL, who came up with this floating thing?
Here’s another nice piece of engineering and construction. This time the locale is JAPAN. Here’s the exterior shot of the building. Note the surrounding area… mountains, sea shore, golf course, residential area. What do you think is inside this building?
so the SURF’S UP… rain or shine!
When the roof is closed, you still get blue sky and puffy white clouds…
Imagine a beach where the sky is always blue, it’s never too hot or cold, the water isn’t filled with salt and pollution, and the surf is always perfect - welcome to Ocean Dome, the world’s only indoor beach. Ocean Dome has its own flame-spitting volcano, crushed white marble “sand”, and it also boasts the world’s largest retractable roof, providing a permanently blue sky. Temperature, wind and humidity are closely controlled to provide an ultra-safe “sea-side” experience. Every hour, the volcano erupts and the hi-tech wave machines start up, starting a few minutes of sanitized surfing. Entrance cost is US $50 per person, which seems especially expensive given that there is a free, natural beach only 300 meters away.
Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend gambling trip to Louisiana.
The Brunette team rode on the bottom of the bus, and the Blonde team rode on the top level.
The Brunette team down below really whooped it up, having a great time, when one of them realized she hadn’t heard anything from the Blondes upstairs.
She decided to go up and investigate.
When the Brunette reached the top, she found all the Blondes in fear, staring straight ahead at the road, clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles.
The brunette asked, “What the heck’s going on up here? We’re having a great time downstairs!”
One of the Blondes looked up at her, swallowed hard and whispered… YEAH, BUT YOU’VE GOT A DRIVER!
Here are some pictures of “our” movie set. Note that all that red VA clay was doused by the water trucks - and so were we!! - before we were filmed running from the neighborhood to get into the ark, so we were almost knee deep in red muck! Good thing they gave us clothes (doubles of everything) & shoes, as everything got ruined!
Read the bottom line of the ad fast and you’ll understand!!
How to tell if a Catholic is driving too fast:

Jewish Olympic Swimmer:


Send them to school on this bus:
Great news.
A British company is developing computer chips that store music in women’s breast implants.
This is a major breakthrough, since women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.
Good clean American fun. Please remember to plan ahead for your 4th of July parties.
Check out this video: FirecrackerPrank.wmv
A dedicated Teamsters union worker was attending a convention in Las Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels. When he got to the first one, he asked the Madam, “Is this a union house?”
“No,” she replied, “I’m sorry it isn’t.”
“Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?”
“The house gets $80 and the girls get $20,” she answered.
Offended at such unfair dealings, the union man stomped off down the street in search of a more equitable, hopefully unionized shop. His search continued until finally he reached a brothel where the Madam responded, “Why yes sir, this is a union house.
We observe all union rules.”
The man asked, “And if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?” “The girls get $80 and the house gets $20.”
“That’s more like it!” the union man said.
He handed the Madam $100, looked around the room, and pointed to a stunningly attractive blonde.

“I’d like her,” he said.
“I’m sure you would, sir,” said the Madam. Then she gestured to a 92-year old woman in the corner, “but Ethel here has 67 years seniority and according to union rules, she’s next.”

I was a very happy person. My wonderful girl friend and I had been dating for over a year and decided to get married. There was only one thing bothering me: her beautiful younger sister. My sister-in-law-to-be was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts and went bra-less. One day she called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she told me she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn’t overcome. She said she wanted to make love to me just once before I married her sister. Of course I was ! totally shocked and