Funny Forward Archive


Stop Motion Photos

Check out this fun stop motion photo gallery.

stop motion

From Freeple armychef in: Pictures on Sun, Sep 24th, 2006 at 11:36pm
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Paris Hilton Flash Game

From Freeple Scott in: Games on Sun, Sep 24th, 2006 at 4:44pm
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George Carlin’s Views on Aging

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids? If you’re less than 10 years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

“How old are you?” “I’m four and a half!” You’re never thirty-six and a half. You’re four and a half, going on five! That’s the key.

You get into your teens, now they can’t hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

“How old are you?” “I’m gonna be 16!” You could be 13, but hey, you’re gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . . you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There’s no fun now, you’re Just a sour-dumpling. What’s wrong? What’s changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you’re PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it’s all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn’t think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

You’ve built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it’s a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn’t end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; “I Was JUST 92.”

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. “I’m 100 and a half!”

May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

From Freeple Joe in: Forwards, Jokes on Sun, Sep 24th, 2006 at 10:07am
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Do YOU have a better email forward? Email it to forwards@freeple.com!

How to Stay Young

Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay “them ”

  1. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
  2. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. “An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.” And the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s.
  3. Enjoy the simple things.
  4. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
  5. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
  6. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it’s family, pets,keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
  7. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable,improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
  8. Don’t take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
  9. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

From Freeple Joe in: Forwards, Jokes on Sun, Sep 24th, 2006 at 10:05am
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Way to go WestJet

A mother and her very young son were flying Westjet Airlines from Ottawa to Calgary.

The little boy (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, “If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big airplanes have baby airplanes?”

The mother (who couldn’t think of an answer) told her son to ask the stewardess. So the boy went down the aisle and asked the stewardess.

The stewardess, who was very busy at the time, smiled and said, “Did your Mom tell you to ask me?” the boy said, “Yes, she did.” “Well, then, you go and tell your mother that there are no baby airplanes because WestJet always pulls out on time.

Have your Mom explain that to you.”

From Freeple Joe in: Forwards, Jokes on Sun, Sep 24th, 2006 at 10:03am
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