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Office work
Dear Friends:
We have the distinguished honor of being on the committee to raise $5,000,000.00 for a monument of Bill Clinton. We originally wanted to put him on Mt. Rushmore until we discovered there was not enough room for two more faces.
We then decided to erect a statue of Bill Clinton in the Washington D.C. Hall Of Fame. We are having a bit of difficulty as to where the statue should be placed. It was not proper to place it beside the statue of George Washington, who never told a lie, or beside Jesse Jackson, who never told the truth, since Bill Clinton could never tell the difference.
We finally decided to place it beside Christopher Columbus, the greatest Democrat of them all. He left not knowing where he was going, and when he got there he did not know where he was. He returned not knowing where he had been, and did it all on someone else’s money.
If you are one of the fortunate people who have anything left after taxes, we expect a generous contribution to this worthwhile project.
Thank you.
The Bill Clinton Monument Committee.
P.S. The Committee has raised $1.35 so far.
P.S.S. And another thing…..Now let me get this straight. Bill Clinton is getting $12 Million for his memoirs. His wife Hillary got $8 million for hers. That’s $20 million for memories from two people who for eight years repeatedly testified, under oath, that they couldn’t remember anything.
#10 Life is sexually transmitted.
#9 Good health is merely the slowest rate at which one can die.
#8Â Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
#7 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the internet and they won’t bother you for weeks.
#6 Some people are like a slinky… not really good for anything, but you still can’t help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
#5 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital dying of nothing.
#4 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
#3 Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars, and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents???
#2 In the 60′s, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER ONE THOUGHT FOR 2007…
We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America , but we haven’t a clue as to where thousands of Illegal immigrants and Terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.
For the Animal Lovers out there… Some truly wonderful pictures…
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Check out some live videos of Testing Chester at T-Bone’s in Valley Cottage, NY (courtesy of the almighty YouTube):
[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lksqQjz8ENI[/video]
[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvQ55KWs1A8[/video]
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