A mechanic was removing a cylinder-head from the engine of a Harley-Davidson motorcycle when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop. The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike when the mechanic shouted across the garage, “Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?”
The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, “So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I make $39,000 a year and you make $300,000 a year when you and I are doing basically the same work?”
The cardiologist paused, smiled and leaned over, then whispered to the mechanic… “Try doing it with the engine running.”
One day an Irishman who had been stranded on a deserted island for over 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon. He thought to himself, “It’s certainly not a ship.”
And, as the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out the possibilities of a small boat and even a raft. Suddenly there emerged from the surf a wet-suited black clad figure.
Putting aside the scuba gear and the top of the wet suit, there stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde! The glamorous blonde strode up to the stunned Irishman and said to him, “Tell me, how long has it been since you’ve had a cigarette?”
“Ten years,” replied the amazed Irishman. With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproofed pocket on the left sleeve or her wet suit, and pulled out a fresh pack of cigarettes.
He takes one, lights it, and takes a long drag. “Faith and begorrah,” said the man, “that is so good I’d almost forgotten how great a smoke can be!”
“And how long has it been since you’ve had a drop of good Irish whiskey?” asked the blonde.
Trembling, the castaway replied, “Ten years.” Hearing that, the blonde reaches over to her right sleeve unzips a pocket there and removes a flask and hands it to him He opened the flask and took a long drink.
“‘Tis nectar of the gods!” stated the Irishman. “‘Tis truly fantastic!!!”
At this point the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long front of her wet suit, right down the middle . She looked at the trembling man and asked, “And how long has it been since you played around?”
With tears in his eyes, the Irishman fell to his knees and sobbed, “Have Mercy, woman! Don’t tell me you’ve got golf clubs in there too!”
 
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