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http://www.dailyhaha.com/_vids/hilarious_cat_compilation.htm
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Whenever you are having a rough day, try this stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological journals.
The funny thing is that it really does work and will make you smile.
1. Picture yourself lying on your belly on a warm rock that hangs out over a crystal clear stream.
2. You can feel both your hands dangling in the cool running water.
3. Birds are sweetly singing in the cool mountain air.
4. No one knows your secret place.
5. You are in total seclusion from that hectic place called “The World”.
6. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.
7. The water is so crystal clear that you can easily make out the face of the person you are holding underwater.
See? It really does work. You’re smiling already!
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(1 votes, average: 4 out of 5) Loading ...While trying to escape through Pakistan, Osama Bin Laden found a bottle on the sand & picked it up.
Suddenly, a blond headed female Genie rose from the bottle and with a smile said, “Master, may I grant you one wish?”
Osama responded, “You ignorant, unworthy Daughter-of-a-dog! Don’t you know who I am? I don’t need any common woman giving me anything.”
The shocked Genie said, “Please, I must grant you a wish or I will be returned to that bottle forever.”
Osama thought a moment, then grumbled about the impertinence of the woman and said, “Very well, I want to awaken with three American women in my bed in the morning. So just do it and be off with you.”
The annoyed Genie said, “So be it!” and disappeared.
The next morning Bin Laden woke up in bed with Lorena Bobbitt, Tonya Harding, and Hillary Clinton at his side.. His willy was gone, his knees were broken, and he had no health insurance.
God is Good
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(3 votes, average: 1.67 out of 5) Loading ...A Few New Ones:When Insults Had some Style and Class:
“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” –Winston Churchill
“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” — Clarence Darrow
“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” — William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.”
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A lady went into a bar in Waco, Texas and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table. He had the biggest boots she’d ever seen. The woman asked the cowboy if it’s true what they say about men with big feet are well endowed.
The cowboy grinned and said, “Shore is, little lady. Why don’t you come on out to the bunkhouse and let me prove it to you?”
The woman wanted to find out for herself, so she spent the night with him. The next morning she handed him a $100 bill.
Blushing, he said, “Well, thankee, ma’am. Ah’m real flattered. Ain’t nobody ever paid me fer mah services before.”
“Don’t be flattered. Take the money and buy yourself some boots that fit.”
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(2 votes, average: 3 out of 5) Loading ...U.S.Navy releases Al Qaeda Terrorist - I can’t believe it!!!!!
The US Navy today announced that it has released a senior Al Qaeda terrorist after questioning him extensively for 27 days while being held prisoner aboard a US aircraft carrier in the Arabian Sea.
In a humanitarian gesture, the terrorist was given $50 US and a white 1962 Ford Fairlane automobile upon being released from custody.
The attached photo shows the terrorist on his way home just after being released by the Navy.
GO NAVY!!!
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(5 votes, average: 2.6 out of 5) Loading ...We all know that Moms love to dress up their kids.
But when Dad is a graphic designer, anything is possible.
It all started out with the first innocent baby picture.
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(2 votes, average: 5 out of 5) Loading ...A Woodpecker from Hawaii and one from California were arguing about which place had the toughest trees. The Hawaii woodpecker said Hawaii had a tree that no woodpecker could peck. The California woodpecker accepted his challenge, and promptly pecked a hole in the tree with no problem.
The Hawaiian woodpecker was in awe.
The California woodpecker then challenged the Hawaiian woodpecker to peck a tree in California that was absolutely im-peckable (a term woodpeckers like to use). The Hawaiian woodpecker expressed confidence he could do it, so accepted the challenge.
After flying to California, the Hawaii woodpecker successfully pecked the tree with no problem.
So the two woodpeckers were now confused. How is it that the California woodpecker was able to peck the Hawaiian tree and the Hawaiian woodpecker was able to peck the tree in California, but neither one was able to peck the tree in their own state?
After much woodpecker-pondering, they came to the same conclusion.
Your pecker is always harder when you’re away from home.
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(2 votes, average: 4.5 out of 5) Loading ...The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, in Ingonish a man answered his door to find two grim-faced Mounties.
We’re sorry sir, but we have some information about your wife said one Mountie.
Tell me! Did you find her?” the husband shouted.
The Mounties looked at each other. One said, “We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?
Fearing the worst, the ashen husband said, “Give me the bad news first.”
The Mountie said, “I’m sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife’s body in the bay.”
Oh my God!” exclaimed the husband. Swallowing hard, he asked, “What’s the good news?”
The Mountie continued, “When we pulled her up, she had 12 twenty-Five pound snow crabs and 6 good-size lobsters clinging to her.”
Stunned, the husband demanded, “If that’s the good news, what’s the great news?”
The Mountie said, “We’re going to pull her up again tomorrow.”
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(2 votes, average: 3 out of 5) Loading ...Pictures you don’t see every day……
What? Too many shakes?
. looks like UPS wins!!!
Oh, come on,. just one?
starting with spelling
.. That could of been me!
I bet this is by the school that teaches Arithetic
Sometimes a name change is the best idea…
Take me to the cleaners, baby!
Major dilemma
How do you get there from here?
Everything you need for your “shotgun” wedding!
It’s a good deal, but… oh, the college costs!
??? McLogic gone wrong… 
Pork the one you love?
Go Figure…
What?
“ Mass suicides…Cows going over the edge…tonight on Channel 3 News…”
Good Job!!
Load ‘em up with burritos, Mom!!
I’m Confused…
How the hell can I write if I’m ILLITERATE!!!!
I can’t even comment on this one
Beautiful, lush lawns of dirt…
Speling iz knot imprtunt fir astranawts
Make up your mind!!!
Don’t drink and make signs…
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(1 votes, average: 5 out of 5) Loading ...There will only be 49 contestants in the Miss Black America Contest this year because no one wants to wear the banner that says, IDAHO.
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(1 votes, average: 5 out of 5) Loading ....
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(3 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5) Loading ...Home Depot customer
My Friends, I give you “THE DUMBEST GUY ON EARTH!”
This picture is real - not doctored in any way - and was taken by a Transportation Supervisor for a company that delivers building materials for 84 Lumber. When he saw it in the parking lot of IHOP, he went to buy a camera to take pictures.
The car is still running, as can be witnessed by the exhaust.
The driver finally came back after the police were called, and was found crouched behind the rear of the car, attempting to cut the twine around the load! Luckily, the police stopped him and had the load removed.
The materials were loaded at Home Depot. Their store manager said they made the customer sign a waiver.
While the plywood and 2X4’s are fairly obvious, what you can’t see is the back seat, which contains (are you ready for this?) 10 bags of concrete @ 80 lbs. each.
They estimated the load weight at 3000 lbs. Both back tires exploded, the wheels bent and the rear shocks were driven through the floorboard.
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(2 votes, average: 5 out of 5) Loading ...I know a few of you have had trouble using the manual upload form. Hopefully this will make things easier. Joe, I’m looking in your direction 
I am proud to announce that Freeple now allows you to submit your funny forwards BY EMAIL!
First, you need to be a registered user. Then forward along any email you think is worthy to forwards@freeple.com. Simply use the same email address you used when registering and the funny forward will be entered under that username.
For more information, see here for the instructions.
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-Scott
“the man behind the curtain”
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(1 votes, average: 5 out of 5) Loading ...Investment tips for 2007
Maybe I shouldn’t give you some of these, but here goes:
For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks.
Watch for these consolidations in 2007.
1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. Will merge and become:
Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.
2.) PolygramRecords, Warner Bros., and ZestaCrackers join forces and become:
Poly, Warner Cracker.
3.) 3M will merge with Goodyear and become:
MMMGood.
4. ZippoManufacturing, AudiMotors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become:
ZipAudiDoDa.
5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become:
FedUP.
6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become:
Fairwell Honeychild.
7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become:
PouponPants.
8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become:
Knott NOW!
And finally ….
9. Victoria ’s Secret and Smith &Wesson will merge under the new name:
TittyTittyBangBang
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