Funny Forward Archive


Happy Halloween!

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Posted by Freeple Joe in: Forwards, Pictures on Wednesday, Oct 31st, 2007 at 8:30am GMT
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When a Costume is Just Wrong

These Halloween costumes are just plain wrong…

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Posted by Freeple Joe in: Forwards, Pictures on Wednesday, Oct 31st, 2007 at 8:30am GMT
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Amazing Building in Kuwait

Check out this amazing building of INFOSYS in Kuwait soon…

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Posted by Freeple Joe in: Forwards, Pictures on Monday, Oct 29th, 2007 at 10:43pm GMT
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Bow Season Approaching

THOUGHT YA’LL MIGHT NEED A LITTLE BOW HUNTIN’ DEMO.

Don’t know if you were ever a bow hunter, but these two pictures demonstrate the correct posture for bow hunting.

Picture one shows the proper extension of the front arm and the correct positioning of the release arm for a straight, true shot.

Picture two shows the release arm placement from the rear, also demonstrating correct alignment of the rear.

So far, I’ve had about 50 lessons from the demonstrator…

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Posted by Freeple Joe in: Forwards, Pictures, Adult on Monday, Oct 29th, 2007 at 10:43pm GMT
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Capeeshe Italiano

I’m sending this out to every person I know who is Italian, could be Italian, married an Italian, lived with Italians or wants to be Italian……!!!!!

Let’s start at the beginning.

Come stai? Molto bene. Bon giorno. Ciao. Arrivederci. Every Italian from Italy knows these words and every Italian-American should.

But what about the goomba speech pattern? Those words and phrases that are a little Italian, a little American, and a little slang. Words every Paesano and Bacciagaloop we have heard, - words we hear throughout our Little Italy neighborhood of New York

This form of language, the “Goomba-Italiano ” has been used for generations. It’s not gangster slang terms like “whack” or “vig”, if that’s what you are thinking—nope, this is real Guido talk!

The goomba says ciao when he arrives or leaves. He says Mama Mia anytime emotion is needed in any given situation. Mannaggia, meengya, oofah, and of course, va fongool can also be used. Capeesh?

He uses a moppeen to wipe his hands in the cuchina, gets agita from the gravy and will shkeevats meatballs unless they are homemade from the famiglia. Always foonah your bread in the pot of gravy (sauce) or you will be considered a real googootz or a Mezzo-finookio.

There are usually plenty of mamalukes and the girl from the neighborhood with the reputation is a facia-bruta, puttana or a schifosa.

If you are called cattivo, cabbadost, sfatcheem, stupido, or strunz, you are usually a pain in the ass. A crazy diavlo can give you the malokya (evil eye), but that red horn (contra malokya) will protect you if you use it right. Don’t forget to always say per favore and grazia and prego .

If you are feeling mooshadda or stounad or mezzo-morto, always head to Nonna’s and she will fix you up with a little homemade manicott’, cavadell’, or calamar ‘, or some ricotta cheesecake.

Mangia some zeppoles, canolis, torrone, struffoli, shfoolyadell’, pignoli cookies, or a little nutella on pannetone. Delizioso! I think I will fix myself a sangweech of cabacol’ with some proshoot and mozarell’ or maybe just a hot slice of peetza .

So salud’ if you have any Italian blood in you and you understood anything written here! Then, you are numero uno and a professore of the goombas

If you don’t get any of this, then fa Nabola with the whole thing and you are a disgraziato. Scuzi, Mia dispiachay, I didn’t mean that……. Just……. Fugheddaboudit

“CAPEESHE”!!!!!!

Posted by Freeple Joe in: Forwards, Jokes on Monday, Oct 29th, 2007 at 10:43pm GMT
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Why Dogs Bite People

Poor poor dogs. They must hate Halloween. They don’t even get to eat ANY of the candy!

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Posted by Freeple Anna in: Forwards, Pictures on Saturday, Oct 27th, 2007 at 11:23am GMT
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Why Pets Hate Halloween

There are some new ones with the ones from last year, still great for a laugh. Check out Darth Pug!

The Lizard Wizard is my fav!!!

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Posted by Freeple Joe in: Forwards, Pictures on Friday, Oct 26th, 2007 at 12:24am GMT
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All About Bubba

Bubba’s Family Picture Album

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Posted by Freeple Joe in: Forwards, Pictures on Friday, Oct 26th, 2007 at 12:23am GMT
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Email Subscriptions Fixed

Hello Freeples!

I recently updated the Email Subscriptions to fix some bugs that had been reported.  Please let me know if you see any issues now.

If you’d like to subscribe or unsubscribe to email forwards that are posted on Freeple, visit here.  One new option allows emails to come in batches rather than everytime a forward is posted.  If you think you’d like this feature, let me know.

And of course, keep those comments and suggestions coming. Feel free to email me anytime.

Posted by Freeple Scott in: Site Announcement on Monday, Oct 22nd, 2007 at 11:09pm GMT
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Turner Brown

A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him.

The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says, “7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch private, 3 lb. left testicle, 3 lb. right testicle, Turner Brown”.

The white guy faints and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy says. “What’s wrong with you?”

In a weak voice the little guy asks, “What EXACTLY did you say to me?” The big dude says, “I saw your curious look and figured I’d just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me.

I’m 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 lbs., I have a 20 inch private, my left testicle weighs 3 lbs., my right testicle weighs 3 lbs., and my name is Turner Brown.

The small guy says, “Turner Brown?….Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, “Turn around”!

Posted by Freeple artydoris in: Forwards, Jokes on Monday, Oct 22nd, 2007 at 4:12pm GMT
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Bare Bones Bike

How would you like to see this coming at you in the rear view mirror?

Maybe it was built by an Orthopedic Surgeon?

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Posted by Freeple Joe in: Forwards, Pictures on Sunday, Oct 21st, 2007 at 10:45am GMT
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Golf Balls

One day Jack entered the bus with both of his front trouser pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it…) blonde.

The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said,

“It’s golf balls.”

Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him for a very long time, thinking about what he had said. After several minutes, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, she asked…..

Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?

Posted by Freeple Joe in: Forwards, Jokes on Sunday, Oct 21st, 2007 at 10:45am GMT
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The Beer Diet

Beer diet!!! Another stupid fucking diet!!!

But, the chick is damn hot :)

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Posted by Freeple Joe in: Forwards, Videos on Friday, Oct 19th, 2007 at 10:55pm GMT
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World War III

From my gramps… and HORRIBLY un-PC…

WORLD WAR III IS COMING

President Bush and Rumsfeld are sitting in a bar.

A guy walks in and asks the barman, ‘Isn’t that Bush and Rumsfeld sitting over there?’

The bartender says, ‘Yep, that’s them.’

So the guy walks over and says, ‘Wow, this is a real honor! What are you guys doing in here?’

Bush says, ‘We’re planning WW III.’

The guy says, ‘Really? What’s going to happen?’

Bush says, ‘Well, we’re going to kill 140 million Muslims and one blonde with big tits.

The guy exclaimed, ‘A blonde with big tits? Why kill a blonde with big tits?’

Bush turns to Rumsfeld and says, ‘See, I told you, no one gives a shit about the 140 million Muslims’.

Posted by Freeple Joe in: Forwards, Jokes on Friday, Oct 19th, 2007 at 10:50pm GMT
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I Will Never Complain Again

All you parents out there! (This includes all “wanna-be”and “could-have-been-but-chose-not-to-be parents”.)

I will never complain about MY kids again!!!!!!!

Email this NOW to a parent! Now have a great day! And be glad this is not your child!!!!!

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Posted by Freeple Joe in: Forwards, Pictures on Friday, Oct 19th, 2007 at 10:50pm GMT
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