Becoming an Illegal Alien
(Actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his senator)
The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Phone (202) 224 3254
Washington DC, 20510
Dear Senator Harkin,
As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.
My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted If my understanding of this bill’s provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.
Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I’m excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.
Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.
Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as “in-state” tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.
Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver’s license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.
If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative.
Thank you for your assistance.
Your Loyal Constituent,
Donald Ruppert
Burlington, IA
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Loading ...4 Responses to “Becoming An Illegal Alien”
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Katrina says:
What a concept! I have been wondering that very thing for months, now someone has laid it out there for us!
LET’S GIVE THOSE ALIENS A RUN FOR THEIR MONEY! “IF YOU CAN’T BEAT THEM…..JOIN THEM”!!!
This forward is great!June 17th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
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Aaron says:
And just think, by paying the fine, we would be entitled to benefits that pay more than what those who receive Social Security have payed in all their life, get free eduaction and tuition, be put in line in front of American citizens to be accepted into colleges such as Harvard and other liberal colleges, would be expempt in some cities of being prosecuted for any crimes, have the protection of the Mexican government if we ever murdered or raped someone and fled south of the border and the list of possibilities and benefits are endless.
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JESSICA says:
Just in case all of you idiots did not know it is very hard being an “ALIEN” as you say. It is a very long and difficult process becoming a resident it takes years and more than a $2000 fine. Also stop it with the Mexican govt it’s Africa, Honduras, Canada, Guatemala, and many others who are illegaly in the us. People need to get better informed before writing these stupidities.
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Someone says:
Jessica,
I think the point is that it’s not fair to be actual residents of the country you were born in and have to struggle, and struggle to get by, and seeing people who are here illegally, breaking our laws, ignoring our customs and way of life, and getting all this special treatment; at the expense of hard working tax paying citizens who often cannot afford to send their children to the best colleges or pay their medical bills, or even have to live paycheck to paycheck while these criminals (yes criminals, they’re breaking a lot of laws) are receiving all of this assistance.
Also, as far as Africa, Honduras, Canada, Guatemala, and all those other countries you mention go, I’ll accept that. However, I’ve never even seen one of them, and you can’t go to the grocery store without finding an isle with everything written in Spanish for the influx of illegal immigrants from Mexico. People are responding to what they are seeing, and what they are seeing…well, they don’t like it.
PS: My grandmother was killed in a car crash loaded with illegal drunk Mexican immigrants, under age, with no concepts of our laws, who fled the scene because “that’s what you do in Mexico”. Don’t tell me they don’t because my friend Jose, who is a legitimate immigrant who has come here to start a life for his family and is a citizen and a good man was explained it. I look at Jose and I see a great man; and its hard to have close to the amount of respect for these others.
We need more immigrants (notice not ILLEGAL immigrants) like Mr. Jose; and less of these criminals who come here and disrupt our way of life with no regard or respect for the people of this country. America is a country born of rebellion against a government and lifestyle that was unwanted; so coming here because your government and lifestyle sucks and then disrespecting everyone here is prety low.
So perhaps, ma’am, you should get better informed before calling someone’s experiences on the matter stupidities.
