Funny Forward Archive
Making People Happy
President Bush, First Lady Laura and Dick Cheney were flying on Air
Force
One. George looked at Laura, chuckled and said, “You know, I could throw
a
$1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy.”
Laura shrugged her shoulders and replied, “I could throw ten $100 bills
out
of the window and make ten people very happy.”
Cheney added, “That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 bills
out
of the window and make a hundred people very happy.”
Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his
co-pilot, “Such big-shots back there. Hell, I could throw all of them out of the
window and make 56 million people very happy.”
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| One for the Girls. Its best if you have speakers to hear the music. |
| |
Glazenwassert.wmv
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| One for the Girls. Its best if you have speakers to hear the music. |
| |
Glazenwassert.wmv
THE FLY
A happy, little fly was buzzing around a barn one day, when she happened upon a large pile of fresh horse manure. Since it had been hours since her last meal and she was feeling hunger pains, she flew down to the irresistible delicacy and began to munch out. She ate. And ate… and then… she ate some more!!!
Finally, she decided she’d had plenty. She washed her face with her tiny front legs, belched a few times, then attempted to fly away. But alas…she had pigged out far too much and could not get off the ground.
She looked around wondering what to do about this unpleasant situation when she spotted a pitchfork leaning upright against the barn wall.
She’d found a solution. She thought if she could just become airborne she’d be able to fly again. So, she painstakingly, climbed to the top of the handle. Once there, she took a deep breath, spread her tiny fly wings, and leaped confidently into the air.
She dropped like a rock and splattered all over the floor! Dead Fly.
The moral of this sad story?
Never fly off the handle when you know you’re full of shit. |
If you can read this =- change the number at the “subject “& send it
on.
This is one of the many tricks to speed reading. They teach you to
look at the frsit & lsat letetr of a word and your brain will fill in
the rest. Pretty cool.
If you can read this, you have a strange mind too
Can you raed tihs? Olny 828 plepoe can to this point
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.
The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at
Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno’t mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a
wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be
in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed
it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and
I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad
it.
ONLY FORWARD IF YOU CAN READ THIS…Update the number on top too.
Save time by starting a search from any Web page with the MSN Search Toolbar-FREE!
Pennies From Heaven
I found a shiny penny
Just lying on the ground,
But it’s more than just a penny,
This little coin I found.
For pennies come from heaven -
That’s what my Grandpa told me,
He said the angels toss them down!
Oh, How I loved that story.
He said when an angel misses you
They toss a penny down,
Sometimes just to cheer you up
And make a smile out of your frown.
So don’t pass by that penny
When you’re feeling blue -
It may be a penny from heaven
That an angel tossed to you!
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Boob Job $ 6 000
Forgetting To Tuck Your Nuts in… Priceless
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