WHY SOME WOMEN STAY SINGLE
WHY SOME WOMEN STAY SINGLE
It’s not a funny forward but it’s still a forward I recieved of some awesome pictures of a kick ass chopper. Enjoy…
Having a picture of you all dolled up in your cute little cheerleader outfit posted all over the internet, Priceless.
This was written by a guy… it’s pretty damn smart. and funny so just go with it
(Girls — Have a sense of humor!)
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, “I don’t feel like
it, I just want you to hold me.”
I said, “WHAT??!! What was that?!”
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear…
“You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.”
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?”
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to take, so I told her we’d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, “Lets get a pair for each outfit.”
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you… she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey.” She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, “I think this is all dear, let’s go to the cashier.”
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I don’t feel like it.”
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, “WHAT?”
I then said, “Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.”
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, “Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?”
Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either….but at least that bitch knows I’m smarter than her.
WHAT ARE THE SMALL BUMPS AROUND A WOMAN’S NIPPLES FOR?
A: It’s Braille for “suck here”.
Q: WHAT IS AN AUSTRALIAN KISS?
A: It’s the same as a French kiss, but “down under.”
Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH 365 USED CONDOMS?
A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.
Q: WHY WERE HURRICANES ORIGINALLY NAMED AFTER WOMEN?
A: Because when they come, they are wild and wet. However, when they go, they take your house and car with them.
Q: WHY DO GIRLS RUB THEIR EYES WHEN THEY GET UP IN THE MORNING?
A: Because they don’t have any balls to scratch.
Thought for the day:
What is a man’s ultimate embarrassment?
Answer: Running into a wall with an erection and breaking his nose
Get Funny Forwards emailed to you!
Freeple.com values personal privacy. Your email address will not be shared with any other party.
Quickly and easily send this page to your friends, family and coworkers.
Freeple.com values personal privacy. Your email address will not be shared with any other party.Would you rather use Gmail, Outlook, etc. to email your friends?