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	<title>Freeple.com &#187; Anna</title>
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	<link>http://www.freeple.com/blog</link>
	<description>Free Funny Forwards For the People and By the People</description>
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		<title>Thanksgiving Divorce</title>
		<link>http://www.freeple.com/blog/2008/11/26/thanksgiving-divorce/</link>
		<comments>http://www.freeple.com/blog/2008/11/26/thanksgiving-divorce/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 26 Nov 2008 14:50:01 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Anna</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Forwards]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.freeple.com/blog/2008/11/26/thanksgiving-divorce/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[

Thanksgiving Divorce
A man in Jacksonville calls his son in San Diego two days before Thanksgiving and says, &#39;I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing. Forty-five years of misery is enough.
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&#39;Pop, what are you talking about?&#39; the son screams. &#34;We can&#39;t stand the sight [...]]]></description>
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<div>Thanksgiving Divorce</p>
<p>A man in Jacksonville calls his son in San Diego two days before Thanksgiving and says, &#39;I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing. Forty-five years of misery is enough.</p></div>
<div>&nbsp;</div>
<div>&#39;Pop, what are you talking about?&#39; the son screams. &quot;We can&#39;t stand the sight of each other any longer,&#39; the father says. &#39;We&#39;re sick of each other, and I&#39;m sick of talking about this, so you<br /> call your sister in Denver and tell her.&#39; Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. &#39;Like heck they&#39;re getting divorced,&#39; she shouts, &#39;I&#39;ll take care of this.&#39; She calls Jacksonville immediately, and screams at her father, &#39;You are NOT getting divorced. &nbsp;Don&#39;t do a single thing until I get there. &nbsp;I&#39;m calling my brother back, and we&#39;ll both be there tomorrow. &nbsp;Until then, don&#39;t do a thing. &nbsp;DO YOU HEAR ME?&#39; and hangs up.</div>
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<div>The old man hangs up the phone and turns to his wife. &#39;Okay.&#39; he says, &#39;They&#39;re coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way.&#39;</p>
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		<title>Kids Are Quick!</title>
		<link>http://www.freeple.com/blog/2008/06/07/kids-are-quick/</link>
		<comments>http://www.freeple.com/blog/2008/06/07/kids-are-quick/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 07 Jun 2008 18:20:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Anna</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Forwards]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.freeple.com/blog/2008/06/07/kids-are-quick/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[TEACHER:   Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA:       Here it is.
TEACHER:  Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS:        Maria.
____________________________________
TEACHER:  John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN:        [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>TEACHER:   Maria, go to the map and find North America.<br />
MARIA:       Here it is.<br />
TEACHER:  Correct. Now class, who discovered America?<br />
CLASS:        Maria.<br />
____________________________________</p>
<p>TEACHER:  John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?<br />
JOHN:         You told me to do it without using tables.<br />
__________________________________________<br />
TEACHER:  Glenn, how do you spell &#8216;crocodile?&#8217;<br />
GLENN:       K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L&#8217;<br />
TEACHER:  No , that&#8217;s wrong<br />
GLENN:       Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.<br />
______________________________<br />
TEACHER:  Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?<br />
DONALD:     H I J K L M N O.<br />
TEACHER:  What are you talking about?<br />
DONALD:     Yesterday you said it&#8217;s H to O.<br />
__________________________________<br />
TEACHER:  Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn&#8217;t have ten years ago.<br />
WINNIE:     Me!<br />
__________________________________________<br />
TEACHER:  Glen, why do you always get so dirty?<br />
GLEN:        Well, I&#8217;m a lot closer to the ground than you are.<br />
_______________________________________<br />
TEACHER:    Millie, give me a sentence starting with &#8216;I.&#8217;<br />
MILLIE:          I is..<br />
TEACHER:    No, Millie&#8230;.. Always say, &#8216;I am.&#8217;<br />
MILLIE:          All right&#8230;  &#8216;I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.&#8217;<br />
_________________________________<br />
TEACHER:   George Washington not only chopped down his father&#8217;s cherry tree, bu t also admitted it.  Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn&#8217;t punish him?<br />
LOUIS:     Because George still had the axe in his hand.<br />
______________________________________</p>
<p>TEACHER:  Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?<br />
SIMON:      No sir, I don&#8217;t have to, my Mom is a good cook.<br />
______________________________</p>
<p>TEACHER:   Clyde , your composition on &#8216;My Dog&#8217; is exactly the same as your brother&#8217;s. Did you copy his?<br />
CLYDE :       No, sir.  It&#8217;s the same dog.<br />
___________________________________<br />
TEACHER:   Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?<br />
HAROLD:       A teacher<br />
__________________________________<br />
PASS IT AROUND AND MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH!<br />
LAUGHTER IS THE SOUL&#8217;S MEDICINE!! </p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Priceless</title>
		<link>http://www.freeple.com/blog/2008/04/04/priceless-2/</link>
		<comments>http://www.freeple.com/blog/2008/04/04/priceless-2/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 04 Apr 2008 23:00:07 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Anna</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Forwards]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.freeple.com/blog/2008/04/04/priceless-2/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[ 








&#160; Card Wedding &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; [...]]]></description>
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<blockquote><font face="Arial" size="2">&nbsp;</font><font face="Tahoma" size="7"><b> Card Wedding</b></font> <img alt="beating heart animated gif" src="http://www.freeple.com/blog/wp-photos/20080404-190007-3.jpg"><font face="Tahoma" size="4"><b><br />&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;</b></font><font face="Verdana" size="2"><b> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;</b></font>
<div align="center"><font face="Tahoma" size="2">&nbsp;</font> <br /><font face="Tahoma" size="6"><b><br />You got to love this guy&#8230; This is a true story about a recent<br />wedding that took place at Clemson University . It was in the local newspaper and even </b></font><br /> <font face="Tahoma" size="6"><b>Jay Leno mentioned it.</p>
<p>It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests.</b></font></div>
<p><font face="Tahoma" size="4"><b></p>
<p>After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd. </b></font><br /> <font face="Tahoma" size="4"><b>He said he wanted to thank </b></font><br /><font face="Tahoma" size="4"><b>everyone for coming, many from </b></font><br /><font face="Tahoma" size="4"><b>long distances, to support them </b></font><br /> <font face="Tahoma" size="4"><b>at their wedding.</b></font><font face="Arial" size="2"><b><br />&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;</b></font> He especially wanted to thank the bride&#39;s and his family and to thank </b></font><br /><font face="Tahoma" size="4"><b>his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception.</p>
<p>As a token of his deep appreciation </b></font><br /> <font face="Tahoma" size="4"><b>he said he wanted to give everyone </b></font><br /><font face="Tahoma" size="4"><b>a special gift just from him.</p>
<p>So taped to the bottom of </b></font><br /><font face="Tahoma" size="4"><b>everyone&#39;s chair, including the wedding party was an envelope.</p>
<p>He said this was his gift to </b></font><br /><font face="Tahoma" size="4"><b>everyone, and asked them to </b></font><br /><font face="Tahoma" size="4"><b>open their envelope.</p>
<p>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;</p>
<p>Inside each manila envelope was an 8&#215;10 glossy of his bride having sex with the best man.</p>
<p>The groom had gotten suspicious </b></font><br /><font face="Tahoma" size="4"><b>of them weeks earlier and had </b></font><br /> <font face="Tahoma" size="4"><b>hired a private detective to tail </b></font><br /><font face="Tahoma" size="4"><b>them.</p>
<p>After just standing there, just watching the guests&#39; reactions </b></font><br /><font face="Tahoma" size="4"><b>for a couple of minutes, he </b></font><br /> <font face="Tahoma" size="4"><b>turned to the best man and </b></font><br /><font face="Tahoma" size="4"><b>said, &#39;F&#8212;you!&#39; Then he turned </b></font><br /><font face="Tahoma" size="4"><b>to his bride and said, &#39;F&#8212; you!&#39;</p>
<p>Then he turned to the </b></font><br /><font face="Tahoma" size="4"><b>dumbfounded crowd and said, </b></font><br /><font face="Tahoma" size="4"><b>&#39;I&#39;m outta here.&#39;</p>
<p>He had the marriage annulled </b></font><br /> <font face="Tahoma" size="4"><b>first thing in the morning.</p>
<p>While most people would have canceled the wedding </b></font><br /><font face="Tahoma" size="4"><b>immediately after finding out </b></font><br /><font face="Tahoma" size="4"><b>about the affair, this<br /> guy goes through with the </b></font><br /><font face="Tahoma" size="4"><b>charade, as if nothing were wrong.</p>
<p>His revenge&#8211;making the bride&#39;s parents pay over $32,000 for a </b></font><br /><font face="Tahoma" size="4"><b>300-guest wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the </b></font><br /> <font face="Tahoma" size="4"><b>bride&#39;s and best man&#39;s reputations </b></font><br /><font face="Tahoma" size="4"><b>in front of 300 friends and family members.</p>
<p>This guy has balls the size of </b></font><br /><font face="Tahoma" size="4"><b>church bells.</p>
<p>Do you think we might get a MasterCard &#39;priceless&#39; </b></font><br /><font face="Tahoma" size="4"><b>commercial out of this?</p>
<p>Elegant wedding reception </b></font><br /><font face="Tahoma" size="4"><b>for 300 family members and </b></font><br /> <font face="Tahoma" size="4"><b>friends: $32,000.</p>
<p>Wedding photographs commemorating the </b></font><br /><font face="Tahoma" size="4"><b>Occasion: $3,000</p>
<p>Deluxe two-week </b></font><br /><font face="Tahoma" size="4"><b>honeymoon accommodations </b></font><br /> <font face="Tahoma" size="4"><b>in Maui : $8,500.</p>
<p>The look on everyone&#39;s face </b></font><br /><font face="Tahoma" size="4"><b>when they see the 8&#215;10 glossy </b></font><br /><font face="Tahoma" size="4"><b>of the bride humping the best </b></font><br /> <font face="Tahoma" size="4"><b>man: Priceless.</p>
<p>There are some things money </b></font><br /><font face="Tahoma" size="4"><b>can&#39;t buy, for everything else </b></font><br /><font face="Tahoma" size="4"><b>there&#39;s MASTERCARD</b></font> <br /> <font face="Tahoma" size="2">&nbsp;</font>
<div align="center"><img alt="A Mastercard Wedding" src="http://www.freeple.com/blog/wp-photos/20080404-190007-1.jpg"> <br /><font face="Tahoma" size="4"><b>A Mastercard Wedding</b></font></div>
<p><font face="Tahoma" size="2">&nbsp;</font>&nbsp;<br /> <font face="Tahoma" size="2">&nbsp;</font> </p></blockquote>
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