Freeple.com

funny stuff

Eccojoy — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 20:30:03 +0000

Sick of Angel emails???

Eccojoy — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 17:15:06 +0000

To All My Friends

Eccojoy — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 15:30:08 +0000

To all my friends who in 2007 sent me best ‘wishes’, chain letters, ‘angel’ letters or other promises of good luck if I forwarded something,

NONE OF THAT WORKED!

For 2008, could you please just send money, red wine, chocolate, or gasoline vouchers instead?

Thank you ;o)

To All My Friends

Eccojoy — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 15:30:02 +0000

To all my friends who in 2007 sent me best ‘wishes’, chain letters, ‘angel’ letters or other promises of good luck if I forwarded something,

NONE OF THAT WORKED!

For 2008, could you please just send money, red wine, chocolate, or gasoline vouchers instead?

Thank you ;o)

How To Get Off Of Jury Duty

Eccojoy — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 00:15:24 +0000

Now, as a public disservice, our legal expert, Percy Perjury, offers these helpful hints on “How to Get OFF Jury Duty:”

*Paste a tattoo on your arm that says, “Hang’em high!”

*When being questioned by attorneys, before answering each question, flip a coin.

*Wear a hangman’s noose for a necktie.

*Bring the prosecuting attorney a cake that says”Happy Birthday, Uncle Harry.”

*Insist on being sworn-in on a copy of “Batman” comics.

*Wear a white sheet and a hood and keep repeating, “I ain’t prejudiced against nobody!”

*Bring your own sackful of evidence and pass it around to all prospective jurors.

*Learn to whistle “The Prisoner’s Song” very loudly without moving your lips.

*Tell them you have to leave early every day to get back to the Half-Way House.

THE OLD MAN AND THE TEENAGER

Eccojoy — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 21:00:16 +0000

I was at the mall the other day eating at the food court.

I noticed an old man watching a teenager sitting next to him.

The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue.

The old man kept staring at him.

The teenager would look and find the old man staring every time. When
the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, “What’s the matter old
man, never done anything wild in your life?

The old man did not bat an eye in his response, “Got drunk once and had
sex with a peacock.

I was just wondering if you were my son.”

Underwear Dust

Eccojoy — Thu, 15 May 2008 02:30:03 +0000

Underwear Dust

One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife ‘Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!’

His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn’t let such a comment go unrewarded.

The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. ‘What the Hell is this??’ he said to himself as a little ‘dust’ cloud appeared when he shook them out.
‘April,’ he hollered into the bathroom, ‘why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?’

She replied …’It’s not talcum powder…It’s ‘Miracle Grow!’

A Woman Once Said…..

Eccojoy — Tue, 13 May 2008 23:00:26 +0000

Taste Tester

Eccojoy — Tue, 13 May 2008 22:15:10 +0000

WHAT DOES A KISS TASTE LIKE?

One day a teacher had a taste test with her students. She picked a little boy to do the first test.

She blindfolded him, put a Hershey kiss in his mouth and asked, “Do you know what it is?”

”No, I don’t,” said the little boy. “Okay, I’ll give you a clue. It’s
the thing your daddy wants from your Mom before he goes to work.

“Suddenly, a little girl at the back of the room yelled, “Spit it out!

It’s a piece of Ass!!!

Underwear Dust

Eccojoy — Mon, 12 May 2008 03:15:05 +0000

Making People Happy

Eccojoy — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 03:30:02 +0000

Making People Happy

President Bush, First Lady Laura and Dick Cheney were flying on Air
Force
One. George looked at Laura, chuckled and said, “You know, I could throw
a
$1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy.”

Laura shrugged her shoulders and replied, “I could throw ten $100 bills
out
of the window and make ten people very happy.”

Cheney added, “That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 bills
out
of the window and make a hundred people very happy.”

Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his
co-pilot, “Such big-shots back there. Hell, I could throw all of them out of the
window and make 56 million people very happy.”

Window cleaner!!

Eccojoy — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 03:00:04 +0000

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One for the Girls. Its best if you have speakers to hear the music.

Glazenwassert.wmv

Window cleaner!!

Eccojoy — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 17:15:02 +0000

One for the Girls. Its best if you have speakers to hear the music.

Glazenwassert.wmv

BUMPER STICKERS

Eccojoy — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 17:00:23 +0000

THE FLY

Eccojoy — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 17:00:15 +0000

THE FLY

A happy, little fly was buzzing around a barn one day, when she happened upon a large pile of fresh horse manure. Since it had been hours since her last meal and she was feeling hunger pains, she flew down to the irresistible delicacy and began to munch out. She ate. And ate… and then… she ate some more!!!

Finally, she decided she’d had plenty. She washed her face with her tiny front legs, belched a few times, then attempted to fly away. But alas…she had pigged out far too much and could not get off the ground.

She looked around wondering what to do about this unpleasant situation when she spotted a pitchfork leaning upright against the barn wall.

She’d found a solution. She thought if she could just become airborne she’d be able to fly again. So, she painstakingly, climbed to the top of the handle. Once there, she took a deep breath, spread her tiny fly wings, and leaped confidently into the air.

She dropped like a rock and splattered all over the floor! Dead Fly.

The moral of this sad story?
Never fly off the handle when you know you’re full of shit.

855(I’m still a jenius)

Eccojoy — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 17:00:13 +0000

If you can read this =- change the number at the “subject “& send it
on.

This is one of the many tricks to speed reading. They teach you to
look at the frsit & lsat letetr of a word and your brain will fill in
the rest. Pretty cool.

If you can read this, you have a strange mind too
Can you raed tihs? Olny 828 plepoe can to this point

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.
The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at
Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno’t mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a
wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be
in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed
it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and
I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad
it.

ONLY FORWARD IF YOU CAN READ THIS…Update the number on top too.

Save time by starting a search from any Web page with the MSN Search Toolbar-FREE!

The Wedding Ring

Eccojoy — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 17:00:10 +0000

wedding_ring_1.wmv

The Wedding Ring

Eccojoy — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 16:45:17 +0000

wedding_ring_1.wmv

PENNIES FROM HEAVEN

Eccojoy — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 16:45:10 +0000

Pennies From Heaven

I found a shiny penny
Just lying on the ground,
But it’s more than just a penny,
This little coin I found.

For pennies come from heaven -
That’s what my Grandpa told me,
He said the angels toss them down!
Oh, How I loved that story.

He said when an angel misses you
They toss a penny down,
Sometimes just to cheer you up
And make a smile out of your frown.

So don’t pass by that penny
When you’re feeling blue -
It may be a penny from heaven
That an angel tossed to you!

WHY PRE-MARITAL SEX IS IMPORTANT]

Eccojoy — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 16:45:02 +0000

WhyPre-maritalSexIsImportant.wmv