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A female officer arrested a man for drunk driving.
The female officer tells the man,
“Sir,you have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say, can, and will be held against you.”
The drunk replies,”Tits”
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(2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading ...1) Did you fart?
cuz you blew me away.
2) Are yer parents retarded?
cuz ya sure are special.
3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea I can’t hold it in.
4) Do you have a library card?
cuz I’d like to sign you out.
5) Is there a mirror in yer pants?
cuz I can see myself in em.
6) If you was a tree & I were a Squirrel, I’d store my nuts in yer hole.
7) You might not be the best lookin girl here, but beauty’s only a light
switch away.
Man – “Fat Penguin!”
Woman – “WHAT?”
Man – “I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.”
9) I know I’m not no Fred Flintstone,
but I bet I can make yer bed-rock.
10) I can’t find my puppy, can you help me find him?
I think he went inta this cheap motel room.
11) Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner.
12) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin, we kin sleep til afternoon.
13) Yer face reminds me of a wrench,
every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.
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(1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5) Loading ...FREE-FOR-NOW GPS TOOL
Just enter any cell phone number and
by linking GPS and cell tower info
it finds the location of that cellphone.
http://mobilebacktrack.com
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(1 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5) Loading ...A man staggers into an emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.
Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened.
“Well, it was like this”, said the man.
“I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows. We went to look for them, and I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife’s monogram on it–stuck right in the middle of the cow’s butt. That’s when I made my big mistake.”
“What did you do?” asks the doctor.
“Well, I lifted the cow’s tail again and yelled to my wife, ‘Hey, this looks like yours!’… I don’t remember much after that.”
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(2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5) Loading ...A trucker was driving his fully loaded rig to the top of a steep hill. Just as he was starting down the equally steep other side, he noticed a man and a woman lying in the center of the road, making wild and passionate love. In total disbelief, he blew his air horn several times as he was bearing down on them. He realized that they were not going to stop or get out of his way, so he slammed on his brakes and stopped just inches from them.
Furious, he got out of the cab and walked to the front of the truck. He looked down at the two, still in the road, and yelled, “What’s the matter with you two? Didn’t you hear me blowing the horn? You could have been killed!”
Eventually, the man looked up at the truck driver, obviously satisfied and not too concerned and said, “Look, I was coming, she was coming, and you were coming. You were the only one with brakes………”
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(1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5) Loading ...
